Let me tell you a small story.. there was a guy living in a small town in interior Sindh. belonging to middle class family (comparatively to the rest of people in small town). Schooled and lived within the same city because apparently visiting cities like city of lights was pretty costly so it used to happen not very often. Bullied at his school most part because apparently his gay-ness was not that subtle and from bullying I am not talking about verbal bullying.. no no my friend. Twice he had to grab penises of his class mates to give a good rub because no one likes to take a swollen eye to home where he is considered to be one of the brave and macho boys because he was not interested into cricket. Guy turned out to be good (if not impeccable) with English language because most of his life his only escape was books.. Any book he can put his hands on or can afford.
Anyways, long story short he finally got admission into one of technical universities in city of lights. He was happy that finally he will move to the big city where people will not know the shameful incidences. past will be just past. His family moved to the big city as well since finally there was opportunity for everyone to get out of that small town. He finished his studies and got a job in a small company which was serving international clients where he earned only 20% of what his salary should have been if he was working in those countries. The guy since was into books whatever he can get, he came to know a new side of world, which was more rational with no cute stories of a man and a woman falling from heaven to populate the planet earth. Long story short he transitioned from being religious-to-spiritual-to-agnostic-to-atheist, if we can trivialize it we can say him being gay played role since his birth religion was very clear on burning down the whole towns upon such un-natural acts.
He never deterred in providing what his family needed financially because his under grad degree was enough to get him a job. With that he kept on saving money for his masters and got admission in one fancy business school. There smoked for the first time in his life.. drank for the first time with his new friends. and partied in a new world which was not at all like the one where he went back every night. That did not impact in any way his family and his complete moral and financial support to family.
The perfect two lives he was living came to grounds when 2 of his best friends told his parent about him being gay (keeping the extreme goodness and religious brother-hood in their hearts). he was beaten, and was kept locked up in home for almost a week. and later was given permission to go to office and come back home under strict vigilance. this kept on happening for almost 6 months when finally he got a job offer from city of heritage and culture. This was the first time he stood up for his right of living his life. he told his family that their prayers and religious meds didn’t work very well and he was still a guy liking, atheist bad guy who is corrupted.
He finally moved to city of culture and during that he saved up some money as well to apply for immigration for some country where he can live his life as it is. Not flaunting, not cursing anyone and completely supporting his family financially. He finally got the immigration and now he is planning to make the big move. He loves his country as much as a minority in hiding can. He spent 31 years of his life in this country. He paid the taxes. He didn’t rape any one. he didn’t steal or cheat. he rather avoided bad situation by going an extra mile because at the end of the day he cannot risk his life for being an atheist gay who doesn’t support any of current political parties because:
1. most of them are the parties he saw being in power in his 31 years of life span more than once and he knew it all along they didn’t do anything but eat the shit out of this country.
2. The only new party developing was by a person who spent all his life playing cricket and opening a hospital for which rest of the country paid. now maybe the statement be a little biased, probably because the protagonist didn’t like cricket as such because he got f***ked (and I am not cursing here) for the first time in his life forcefully because he lost a cricket match. or maybe he knows the history of this hot headed irrational bully cricketer who is right now supporting Taliban subliminally.
Finally he now is ready to go out of this country for good after 31 years. The guy has full right on this country even once he leaves.. he was born here, he spent the most important years when he had the most energy to serve in this country. he is not scared to leave the big shot company he is working for right now. he perfectly knows he wont have a job once he land there and will have only money enough to survive only few months. he might end up at some gas station or as a security. but he is sure he will make his way through. and he will someday be at the same place where he is right now. Only minus the colleagues who brings the topic of his marriage every second day and snide derogatory remarks about if he is physically fit or not for marriage, or if he is Gandu (followed by a laughter). He smiles and let the situation go. you know why because he knows it will get better. Maybe somewhere he will not be insulted at least by his family and colleagues of not following their path of producing 12 babies in this babies ridden country.
Do you want to take away his right to criticize for what’s wrong with the country just because he chose to save his life while living as normally as everyone else is. you want to take away the rights of him being citizen of this country because he is trying to get paid what he actually deserves. you want to take away rights of him who even after all that is still taking care of his family. and lastly you want to take away rights of him just because he continuously worked hard while being abused and bullied for a better future, maybe enough electricity to run all day and own a good car some day and have an air-conditioned home. why? because if you do you are as bad the first person who pushed penises in his hands, who raped the guy, who bullied him throughout his life, who punished him for being gay though it was not in his hands and make fun of him because he doesn’t see the world through your glasses of religion anymore.
I don’t know what to say after that my friend. and by the way that guy is me. and there is no exaggeration in the above mentioned story.
Don’t stereotype people. Don’t criticize them personally if you cannot provide them all that personally.
Peace
Closted
(p.s. Although I was typing all this as a comment, it can easily make a good post for my blog.)
In response to a blog post: http://fahimakhter.wordpress.com/2013/07/23/oversease-pakistani-syndrome/
The Closeted's Blog 